Early Relationships for Healthy Brains

An interview with Developmental Psychologist Ross Thompson

Abstract: Healthy brain development relies on the quality of early relationships. Supportive relationships and parent-child conversations buffer stress; they contribute to the cognitive and emotional stimulation that developing brains need; and the quality of parent-child conversation is important even before young children are good conversational partners. Young children in secure relationships attain greater insight into people’s feelings than do children whose relationships are insecure. What’s important is not just what is said, but also how it is said­—and by whom.

Council Member Ross A. Thompson is Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Davis. His work focuses on early personality and socioemotional development in the context of close relationships, an interest that contributes to the cross-disciplinary field of developmental relational science. He has also worked on the applications of developmental science to public-policy problems concerning children and families, such as divorce and child custody, child maltreatment, school readiness, grandparent visitation rights, and research ethics. He serves on the editorial board of ZERO TO THREE Press, has twice been Associate Editor of Child Development, and served on the Committee on Integrating the Science of Early Childhood Development for the Institute of Medicine and the National Research Council of the National Academy of Sciences. He has received the Boyd McCandless Award from the American Psychological Association, and the Outstanding Research and Creative Activity Award from the University of Nebraska.

What does the most current scientific knowledge regarding developmental psychology tell us about the development of a child’s brain?

Two things. First, all kinds of early influences contribute to the establishment of either a weak or a sturdy foundation as the child’s brain architecture develops. The quality of early nutrition, stimulation from social experiences, stress, exposure to hazardous substances, the quality of care—all of these contribute to the structure that a child will take with him or her through life. These influences begin prenatally, and continue to be important throughout childhood. Their significance derives from the developing brain’s ­openness to experience, and this is a double-edged sword, because the experiences shaping early brain development can build or damage the structure of the developing brain.

Second, relationships build the brain over time. My research has focused on exploring how early relationships provide the foundation for young children’s understanding of the psychological world. We have long known that, far from being egocentric, infants and young children strive to comprehend others’ feelings, desires, and thoughts. Children do recognize that others’ views are different from their own.

But children also find feelings and thoughts challenging to understand, because they are invisible, complex, and only indirectly revealed in behavior. Our studies show that young children learn about the psychological world—about emotions, cooperation, and themselves—from the quality of their relationships with parents, from the emotional climate of the home, from their everyday conversations about the day’s events, and from other relational experiences.

Healthy brain development relies on the quality of early relationships. Supportive relationships buffer stress; they contribute to the cognitive and emotional stimulation that developing brains need; they are the avenues for protecting healthy brain growth through nutrition, avoidance of harmful viruses or drugs, and for accident prevention.

When you talk about the quality of parent-child conversation, are you referring to how we teach our children about the world?

Not direct teaching. Rather, I am describing the importance of casual conversations, the ones that take place during or after the everyday experiences that parents and children share: a trip to the zoo, visiting the dentist, talking about a sibling’s temper tantrum. Adults live in a psychological world in which feelings, intentions, motives, beliefs, and thoughts are essential to how they understand everyday experiences; when adults converse with children, they naturally convey this kind of understanding. Why did my brother get mad at dinner? When mom explains that he was angry about having to quit his computer game, a young child begins to make the connections between feelings and actions, past events and current

emotion, frustrated desire and anger. A child’s understanding of the psychological realities of human experience is built on conversations like these. We have discovered that the influence of these conversations is deeply affected by the emotional tenor of the parent-child relationship. Young children in secure relationships attain greater insight into people’s feelings than do children whose relationships are insecure—perhaps because children can talk about feelings more easily in relationships of security. In other words, what’s important is not just what is said, but also how it is said—and by whom.

How early are we talking about?

The quality of parent-child conversation is important even before young children are good conversational partners. Why? Because from their third year, children are ­already thinking and inquiring about people’s feelings, desires, and other mental states, and are curious about their own psychological experiences as well as those of others. They’re ready for the clues that parents can provide about why people behave as they do. And the quality of the adult-child relationship determines how the child receives the clues and information. Ideally, by the first birthday, infants have developed a sense of secure confidence in those who care for them; the warmth of the parent-child relationship is a continuing influence on how children understand others and themselves.

For information about commonly used terms in Council publications, see Definitions.